Making Me Sick!

I know what you’re expecting here. You’re thinking that somebody shot an angle or berated a bad player and I’m about to go off on a ridiculous rant about it. Nope. Not this time. I’m talking about people who actually make me sick. Twice so far this year. I’ve missed five days this time, though I’m feeling fine now and the doc tells me that I am fine to go back to the card room without making anyone else sick, and I missed seven days the first time in early November.

Both times that I got sick this winter can be traced back to spending time at the table with somebody seated near me who was obviously sick and should have kept their sick ass at home! I was much too polite about the whole thing in both cases last week when one player was obviously ill and sneezing on everyone and wiping their nose with their fingers before checking their hole cards (yuck!), and another was coughing up a lung for hours. I even attempted to diagnose the cough and send the player home, but he wouldn’t leave.

I know I should have left myself, or gotten a table change, but I was very close to my 160 hours and couldn’t leave and a table change was not available. I should have just walked away anyway. I should have also been more insistent. I try not to be rude, but after inconsiderate people getting me sick twice this year, costing me two weeks of work, I’ll be fairly unpleasant to the next person at my table who is obviously sick.

You have the sneezes? Fine, I get it. I have a ton of allergies and often sneeze and blow my nose. It doesn’t mean I’m constantly sick. But I sneeze away from the table, get a napkin, wash my hands, whatever I need to do. And if I’m actually sick I stay home. It’s rude to fellow players, and very bad for business for your favorite card room when you give the flu to a whole table full of regular players who are considerate enough to stay home for the next week.

Best case scenario? Be prepared and avoid getting sick so I don’t start pointing at you and shouting “Patient Zero! Kill it with fire!” in the middle of a hand. And I will do that. Seriously. So let’s all avoid getting sick huh? In case you are one of those people who is too dumb to go home when you get sick, these simple tips will help you be at my table with snot all over your hands less often.

1. Get A Flu Shot

I should have done this. It may have saved me at least one time. I will be doing it this week. Vaccinations have a bad rap right now, but don’t believe the hype. Doctors get flu shots and they know more medicine than you do.

2. Take Some Vitamins

I have been taking an Airborne tablet a couple times a week all winter and will continue to do so. It is a fact that you will get sick less often, and get better faster, if you take vitamin C and Zinc. You don’t have to go overboard, just take some once in awhile. In reasonable doses it can’t hurt you and it can help.

3. Avoid Sick People

Easier said than done, I know. But no matter what, avoid sick people. They will get you sick. Don’t sit around and wait for a seat, just get up and leave and tell the floor you would like a new table and tell them why.

4. Don’t Eat With Your Hands

I’ve done it myself, after using an alcohol wipe, but I shouldn’t. I’m not sure why casinos even serve finger food, because it is definitely going to make their players sick and they make less money when the flu is in town. No more finger food for me. I’m tired of being sick and no matter how much I wash my hands, I think it’s a bad idea to eat with my hands in a cramped public place with sick people in it.

5. Hand Sanitizer

Carry it and use it. I’ll have some with me as often as possible. You can borrow it unless you are sick. If you are sick, then you can stay the hell away from me and get your own hand sanitizer.

6. Stay the Hell Home

Seriously. If you are sick, and exposing the whole poker room to your contagious creeping crud, I am going to be very unpleasant to you from now on. Just go home. Quit being a dick and go home.


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